Now Kate Austin makes use of her platform to share with you her tale, so that you can shatter stereotypes which help others feel less alone.
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Kate Austin utilizes Instagram to fairly share her experience as a lesbian that is feminine. / Photograph thanks to Kate Austin
Whom i will be: Kate Austin (@kateaustinn), a writer and influencer whom concentrates mostly on homosexual and issues that are lesbian.
“The only thing we actually have you ever heard about homosexuality ended up being it was incorrect. I was raised in a brilliant spiritual home in Ohio, therefore it had been never truly explained further than that.
I would like to state the time that is first thought i may be homosexual was 7th grade. We looked at myself within the mirror and had been like, ‘Oh my god, I think I’m gay. ’ I quickly had been like, ‘No, We can’t be. There’s no way. I’m a Christian. ’
But i recall I would personally stalk girls on MySpace and stay like, ‘Do I would like to be her or do we want to kiss her? ’ I didn’t understand how to navigate those emotions. I do believe I experienced therefore much internalized homophobia from the location additionally the spiritual house I happened to be for the reason that my mind wouldn’t I want to decrease that route.
Whenever I was at twelfth grade, I happened to be the only real woman that has zero fascination with anyone. That’s the age when girls are child crazy. All my buddies started initially to phone me down to be gay. It wasn’t in a way that is nice. They certainly were all speaking behind my straight straight back. That occurred my freshman of high school year. Senior 12 months, I became cheerleading plus they began yelling at me personally and calling me a lesbian and fake making away in the stands.
I recall sobbing during halftime of a soccer game and went as much as the stands and chatted to my mom, who’s ridiculously religious. She ended up being like, ‘Well, are you currently? ’ I happened to be like, ‘No no no no no, ’ trying to clean it well. The way in which she had been responding ended up being protective. It had been very uncomfortable. We figured, ‘If this is the way individuals about it… around me are acting’
Then, in university, we went along to Mexico and cheated on my boyfriend with a lady whom been a lesbian. Whenever I arrived house, we attempted become normal and behave like it never occurred, however it ended up being the one and only thing i possibly could think of. It absolutely was like a light switch flipped, like, ‘Oh my god, exactly just how have actually We been residing similar to this? ’ We experienced never experienced any emotions for someone that way before, and I’d came across this individual 48 hours ahead of time. We thought, ‘This should be what girls felt in senior school about guys. ’ I became therefore excited it consumed me.
Four days later on, I split up with my boyfriend, but i did son’t inform my moms and dads or anybody yet. I desired to see how things played down. We switched girls on on Tinder and went throughout that entire thing. But a close buddy really introduced us towards the girl I’m still dating now, Sarah. We began messaging, plus it had been love in the beginning discussion. We started chatting and not stopped.
That happened in June. My twenty-first birthday was at August. Sarah lived in nj-new jersey, and she was invited by me and my pal who introduced us to Ohio to commemorate my birthday celebration. I have five brothers, and additionally they came, therefore she was told by me, ‘We can’t act like we’re dating. My children doesn’t know. ’ But i obtained therefore drunk, i did son’t care whom started and saw kissing privatecams her. These were like, ‘You’re kissing a lady? What’s occurring? ’ They were told by me she ended up being my girlfriend.
24 hours later, my mother told us she had been identified as having breast cancer tumors, and that triggered my one cousin with really serious anxiety to own a panic and anxiety attack. He told my father it had been because, ‘Mom has cancer of the breast and Katie’s homosexual. ’ We denied it at that time, however a week later on, i texted my mom and informed her. She texted right straight back and said never to get home. She also began team speak to my loved ones and told everybody never to I would ike to stick with them.
I happened to be working a dual change at Chili’s during the time, and my buddy Brian — he’s the mediator for the household — called me at the conclusion associated with night and told us to come stick with him. In regards to a week. 5 later on, we went back once again to my mom along with a discussion. It ended up beingn’t great. She said we could go home, but I’d to pay for lease. I didn’t have sufficient conserved to go get a condo by myself, but I did son’t have every other choices at that time. We lived here for approximately a year, working three jobs and saving up cash, after which relocated to southern jersey with sarah.
We’ve lived into the Gayborhood in Philly for around 3 years now. It is loved by me. Perthereforenally I think so fortunate. We cross the road, and there’s rainbow crosswalks. In Ohio, everybody else gets stuck inside their day-to-day, and absolutely nothing ever changes. It is constantly the exact same drama whenever you get house. Right Here, individuals are therefore innovative and progressive. Personally I think much like individuals during my governmental stance. We see partners hands that are holding over my community. Whenever people content me personally on Instagram, i let them know to locate city that is progressive and then leave. You can keep coming back, you need to get away in the beginning.